Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome: My Emotional Journey

It was two days before my 19^th Birthday when I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome

I have always been a healthy person. There isn't a history of any forms of medical illness in my family, so it came as a shock to me when I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome.

Three weeks before my diagnosis, my weight had increased rapidly. I would consistently feel sharp, stabbing pains in my lower abdomen, and I would occasionally feel dizzy and nauseous. This was when I came to the conclusion that I needed to seek medical attention, as I knew there was something wrong. My doctor insisted that I wasn’t ill, claiming that there was a chance that I was 21 weeks pregnant. To prove his prognosis, my doctor requested that I was to have an ultrasound immediately. I knew that he was wrong. 

The ultrasound was the most horrific and traumatic experience of my life. The ultrasound technician examined me, and then informed me that I had an ovarian cyst that was 10 cm x 15 cm x 18 cm in diameter. She then stated that there was a possibility that the cyst was cancerous, and there was a chance that I’d never be able to conceive a child. After hearing this news, I began to panic and cry hysterically. How could I possibly have cancer? I have always been a family person, and my ultimate goal in life is to one day have a family of my own. Within a second, my dreams and my future had been snatched away from me. 

Later that day, the stabbing pains in my lower abdomen had increased. I wasn’t able to stand, keeling over in pain I began to scream. I was than rushed to the emergency ward at the "Mater" hospital where the nurses and doctors sedated me with morphine, and held me at the hospital overnight for observation.

During my hospitalisation, the doctors examined my ultrasound and informed me that the cyst was attached to my left ovary, meaning that my right ovary was perfectly fine. This to me was a massive relief because a person can still conceive a child with one ovary. They also stated that I have polycystic ovarian syndrome and told me that I shouldn’t do any form strenuous exercise. They explained that if I did any form of strenuous exercise, there was a chance that the cyst would twist, causing damage to both of my ovaries and internal bleeding.

The next day, the doctors informed me that I was to undergo a major operation called a laparotomy, to remove the cyst and possibly my left ovary. They also stated that I could go home for my birthday, as I needed to prepare for my operation and I had a lot to contemplate. So many thoughts flickered through my mind. Do I allow the surgeon to remove my left ovary? What will happen if something similar happens to my right ovary? What will happen if the cyst is cancerous? 

The following day after my birthday, I was admitted into the hospital for my operation, which lasted approximately five hours. After the operation, the doctors informed my family that they were able to save my left ovary. The pain from my operation was extremely severe, and I was unable to move for three days. Overall, my time in the hospital was very hazy, and all I wanted to do was sleep. Four days after my operation I was mobile again. The process was very slow, and at first I needed the nurses assistance to shower and walk again. That day my doctor came to visit me and informed my family and I how the operation went. The only words I remember was the doctor's voice saying, "The cyst was benign". 

The next day I was discharged from hospital, and I began the six week recovery process. The whole ordeal affected my life immensely. I was unable to leave my house or work for seven weeks, which meant that I didn't have an income. I was later diagnosed with depression and anxiety, both of which were triggered by the stress and trauma that I suffered during the ordeal. I would stress about my future, about my job and about making something of myself. These thoughts triggered my decision to enrol in University. 

Since the operation, the doctors have discovered another ovarian cyst, which was smaller in size and was removed with a laparoscopic ovarian cystectomy. Every now and then I feel a sharp pain in my lower abdomen, and I wonder if another cyst is beginning to form. I am frequently asked, "Why don't you have both of your ovaries removed? You won't have to deal with the pain". My answer is and will always be the same, "I would rather endure the pain and then one day have a child. If I did have my ovaries removed I would have no physical pain, but I would have the emotional pain of not having a family".

"The Polycystic Ovary Syndrome Association of Australia" (POSAA) is an organisation that supports women who live with polycystic ovarian syndrome. Check it out for information http://main.posaa.asn.au/.